Moishe

Moishe was once the star pupil at the local rabbinical school until a tragic photocopier accident left him without a tail or a memory, and with 1500 copies of his Bubby's blintz recipe. It has been a long and slow recovery, but Moishe is now enroled in database management at DeVry.

Vance

Vance did three tours of duty in Afghanistan, and now suffers from PTSD, although that ailment is because of having had too many layovers at the Atlanta airport. He copes with his difficulties by writing fan fiction, and is one of the Midwest's most respected Bronies.

Gord

Gord is not dumb, but he is an illiterate squirrel. He always wanted to go to school, but his family could not find any to send him to that were nut-free facilities. As a result, Gord's prospects are now limited, although he is considering a career in MMA. He's got some pretty sweet moves.

Mavindra (Melanie)

Melanie - or Mavindra, as she now likes to be called since spending an afternoon at an ashram in Goa - thinks she is better than most squirrels. She lives in a studio loft on the Lower East Side, and spends most of her time at Madison Square Park sipping foamy lattes and tweeting judgy comments about other squirrels, as she finds them very materialistic.