Archibald

On paper, handsome and debonair Archibald (a.k.a. Arch) looks like a real catch: Ivy league, New England blue-blood, great job on Wall Street. However, unlike most other squirrels who work in high finance, Archibald does not have severe sociopathic tendencies: he is a complete sociopath. When he's not doing coke and gambling away seniors' pensions in ultra-high risk investments, he's taking advantage of insecure late-twenty-something single professionals, stringing along a half dozen at any time, and then dropping them at the first sign of commitment. Or pregnancy (he has a standing order for Plan "B" at the Duane Reade around the block from his condo). If his ancestors knew Archibald would be such a degenerate douchebag, they probably never would have stepped off the Mayflower.