Monday, 24 March 2014


When anyone first meets Rhonda the first thing they want to do is to judge her for her poor life choices. True, she lives off of social benefits with her eleven kids from eight different baby daddies. True, she can't hold down a job. But what haters need to know is that Rhonda never really had much of a chance in life. She was home-schooled by her mom, who went bat-shit fucking crazy after her dad died of liver failure following years of rampant alcoholism. Then, the front door became a revolving door of mom's “friends”. That didn't keep mom from not teaching Rhonda anything about how the human reproductive system works, or condoms, because that just wouldn't be Christian. Like any child, Rhonda, as she grew older, simply imitated the roles to which she had been exposed. Unfortunately for her, she was surrounded only by shitty role models. And to the other haters who are whining that the photo is not of a squirrel, maybe you should note that the marmota  monax is classified in the sciuridae family – ergo, a squirrel. Jesus, read a book.

Monday, 10 March 2014

The Hackney Brothers

The Hackney brothers - Nigel, Evan, and Chumseligh- can usually be found hatching some cockamamie get-rich scheme. Almost always, it blows up in their face and they wind up in some sort of trouble. Impressively, they have managed to accumulate some seventeen ASBO's between the three of them. Most recently, they were selling expired Kazakh smoked oysters in Blackpool, which they'd purchased at rock-bottom prices from a passing Liberian freighter in Bristol. (They have a mate who knows this pikey fella who has a contact at the port). As of this past Friday, however, all three are in hospital after being neck-nominated to each drink three bottles of Buckies by their cousin Archibald.

Saturday, 8 March 2014


Ajeet grew up in a pretty normal middle class family in Bangalore (he's a HUGE Challengers supporter), and, when his exam scores were too low to get into university, he found a good job in a call centre.
When he first started calling people in Canada to see if they wanted their air ducts cleaned, he didn't even know what an air duct was. With the help of the internets, he did a little investigation and not only found out what it was, but also found out how much you could charge to do the cleaning. He dropped everything, and moved to join his cousin living in Brampton, Ontario. He enrolled in college, and became an HVAC specialist. He got married a few years ago, and he and his wife, Amolika, own an HVAC business in Mississauga. It's the 37th largest in the 905. They've made it large. Have YOU made it large?